Brotherly love

Let's be honest here.

Parenting these two magnificent, fun-loving boys is not always easy.

There are sharing issues. And grabbing issues. And more grabbing issues.

It doesn't matter which toy Michael picks out of the 10,000 we trip over in our living room every day; that particular toy he is holding is the one Louis wants this very minute. And let's not even talk about how hard it can be to share their parents--and how beautiful it is to see Michael possessively pushing his big brother away from the parents he met just a few weeks ago.

We're exhausted and jet-lagged, and I'm slowly realizing that my job during my family leave amounts to referee and short-order cook--as well as lullaby-singer and diaper-changer--and yes, our older son is such a mimic that they even coordinate that part of my job. Don't ask me how. I have no idea.

Most of the time, though, we just can't believe how smoothly everything is going.

After all, we arrived home a week and a couple days ago to Louis, who hadn't seen us for two weeks, bringing with us Michael, who had just met us 10 or 11 days earlier. We jumped right into life as a family of four. We didn't know Michael that well and weren't sure how Louis would transition to big brotherhood. And it isn't always easy. But Michael sees us as his parents, turns to us for comfort and care, and Louis--even in his moments of frustration with his little brother--wants desperately to play with his little brother.

It's the beginning of a journey, but we're on our way.

Our first weekend home we ventured out to the store with the boys. Michael hates shopping carts.

And yesterday I took the boys for our first grocery store run without Baba. I felt so courageous. And it all went very well. We got a race-car cart that they could both sit in, right up in front of me, and Louis saved his penny for the Penny Pony at the end of our shopping trip.



Louis could tell you all about his penny collection. We have started giving him 10 pennies every morning in a cup. Every time he grabs something from Michael, he loses a penny. At the end of the day whatever is left in his cup is his to keep. Today he had four pennies at the end of the day. Yesterday he had lost them all by noon.

When Louis loses a penny, it goes into Mama's cup. As soon as I have enough, I am taking myself out for an ice cream cone. I have a ways to go--but I am collecting them faster than my older son.

Meanwhile, we're having a good time getting to know our di di (Chinese for little brother). He has a definite sense of humor and makes himself laugh. He has an uncanny ability to entertain himself. When Louis and I read books on the couch, Michael wanders the room, going from toy to toy. We have an airplane that plays a song, and he'll press the button to make it play and then dance and dance until it stops.

He's a terrific eater, and we're adjusting to the fact that he can't feed himself as well as Louis could when he came home. (Louis was five months older, which is a real difference.) He likes many of the foods Louis likes--noodles and mandarin oranges and sunbutter and jelly sandwiches--but he also likes things that Louis does not. He is apparently a baked goods fiend. He loves cupcakes and brownies and rice krispie treats. And he loves getting into everything--kitchen cabinets, the pantry, the china cabinet, the stairs, the lamps, the outlets, the TV--in a way that Louis never tested us.

We think he might be left-handed--though we're not sure--and he has this way of lifting one finger and putting it in front of his face, either to say "no, no" or as a dramatic "and now watch what I will do" movement like a magician. I'm still not sure. But I am really hoping to capture it with my camera.



He's a very easygoing child, though he stamps his foot (it's very, very cute) when he doesn't get his way. So far we've discovered only a few things he doesn't like: the cuckoo clock, which makes him whimper and reach for Mama; having to go to bed, which he fights; riding in the car seat; and not having lunch until 11 a.m. He really thinks we should eat at 10, a view he shares with his big brother.



Transitions aren't supposed to be this easy. And, for a lot of reasons, we weren't expecting our second adoption to be a breeze. But we have been pleasantly surprised how easily Michael has slipped into our family.

We're working on sharing, which we may be working on for another decade. We're still keeping Michael's world small. We don't want him to be overwhelmed, and we want him to realize these nice people taking care of him really are his parents forever.

But if there's one thing that's clear, it's that he adores his big brother. He's no pushover and makes sure Louis knows he's not getting away with stealing the favorite toy of the moment, but he loves, loves, loves Louis, and lights up and laughs for him whenever Louis is around.

We are so very blessed.